just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
