What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
