Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
