Non-Jews are for practice
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
