She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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