They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I pour the whiskey from now on
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
