someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I just googled if crying burns calories
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
