Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
