As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
