between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
