My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
