Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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