Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
