I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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