I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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