sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
