You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
