so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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