i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
