i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
