I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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