the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
