Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
