My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love you. Go after that dick
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
