ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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