its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
