He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
