All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
