ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
