Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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