It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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