Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
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