at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
