is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
