i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Randomize
