when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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