I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
