he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
