seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
