if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
