you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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