I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
