watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
