i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
