90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
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