He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Randomize
