If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
People in love make me want to vomit
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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