Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
