i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
