shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
