i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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