she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
